Think of playing a game of cards. When playing cribbage with my dad, as we do often, there are times where the game is really close, and down to the wire either of us could win. Other times one of us is easily defeating the other player. Well cribbage is the accumulation of points, and you can only score so many points per hand so there is a place where if you are far enough behind the game might as well be over (you can't win). There is however the desire and hope that the cards might fall just right so that you can win, whether that is likely or not.
When playing games of any sort, if losing I will endeavor to pull out a victory no matter how much the odds are stacked against me. I tend to fight to the last man/card, no matter how bad the defeat is. While this is all friendly gaming and considered good sportsmanship, there is something else being illustrated here. I as a rule want to think I can still win, even if I can't.
The trouble comes when I am playing a game, or living a situation in life, where I know that no matter what I do failure is the only option. I will endeavor for a long time to continue to enjoy the game or survive with the situation as long as I can, but there is a breaking point. If this point is reached I have to stop. This is actually very depressing for me, if I don't think I can be successful I will look for something else to do, or change my life so that I can have a hope of success. To enjoy whatever it is I am doing, I have to feel like succeeding is even a slight possibility.
In life, I can deal with stressful situations for considerable periods of time. This leads to depressive emotions that eventually turn to feelings of resignation. In the past I have come to the conclusion that my life was stressing me out so much, it was not going to get better, nor any way to make it better (hopeless). This feeling of resignation comes in seeking to find something good out of a rotten situation. This is kind of like living with chronic pain; you seek not freedom from the pain, but rather a way to bear the pain.
I have to be able to see the silver lining in a situation, or I will get severely depressed. No matter how bad life is, if there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I can stand up and bear it. If not, then I will be looking to either fix or change my life circumstances. (Whether I realize this or not)
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This is something that AI (artificial intel) won't handle well. Also, there's a huge difference between us analytic and y'all aesthetic types.. my hope is killed by my brain's knowledge and direct application of basic probability and/or mathematics.
ReplyDeleteAnd, as you note, this allows you to survive this planet, with all it's stress. I cannot. Go fig.
You're a roller-coaster (truly we all are in our own ways), unwilling to admit reality for so long that it hurts you painfully all at once.. I tend to admit life's suckiness sooner, and it just hurts 10% all the time.
Either way, I'm convinced life is 51% good.