Coffee Break

I had the marvelous opportunity to have a coffee date with an old friend. I make sure i am clear, this was nothing more than catching up and having a good time, nothing committal or relational about it.

We met at a Starbucks in a neutral location, with meeting place chosen by her. In fact I left the ball in her court as to where and when she would like to meet with me. All I really did was mention that it would be nice to catch up sometime before she went back to school. Now that the issue of intentions and assumptions are clear, as mud, back to the story.

For a while we talked about surface issues and topics, nothing to personal. Really they were big topics that many people have written dissertations on, but we just broached them carefully. What I saw was an attempt by both me and her to get a feeling for what the other believed about various issues in life and theology, goals and plans for life, etc. We talked for little over a half an hour about this kind of stuff when she changed the subject.

She asked me if I was comfortable talking about what happened to me, referring to my failed marriage. Without getting into the gory details of said marriage, I replied yes I was. It took longer than I had thought it would take, and I believe I might have betrayed my affection for her when I told her more than normal. (more than I normally tell people when telling my story). Her compassion and heart was unmistakable, she really felt a kind of pain for me, and what I had endured with my marriage and divorce. She seemed to understand on a level most people don't. She later felt free enough to tell me a bit of who she was inside, and how long of a journey she had to get there.

I asked her if she was familiar with the DISC personality profile, and got the answer I was really hoping for, Yes. It turns out that her personality and mine are very similar. In fact the way she feels life and deals with it is eerily similar to how I interact with reality as well. Unfortunately words are not my best medium for communication, and it is impossible for me to describe the feeling I got while talking with her.

Six months or so ago I had a conversation with my mother about the kind of person that I would like to marry, if God so chooses. It was really a checklist of qualities that must be met in a girl before I would even consider dating her. I ran across this girl online a few months back or so and remember thinking to myself that she is the type of girl I should marry. That was without really looking at the "checklist," but more from looking at who she was from afar and who her family is.

For two hours of my life I was talking with a girl that I almost did not think existed. She is passionate about serving God and following Him. Not only that she is constantly and determinedly working to better herself and fix potential problems that could damage or harm relationships she has. I was not mentally going down any "checklist" in my mind while talking with her, but rather examining the mental picture of what I thought a Christian girl should be. (At least one I would like to spend my life with). I honestly thought that my bar was set so high that I would never run into a girl the met the standard, or fit the picture I had established. And here she was sharing her life with me and allowing me to do the same.

We ended up talking for about two and a half hours before we parted ways. Nothing may ever come of this conversation, and nothing may ever happen relationship-wise with her and me. One thing I do know though, if I ever get married again, she is going to have to be as awesome of a woman as the one I had a coffee break with today.