Belonging

I got the opportunity to help tear down the stairs I helped build for the Christmas program. Even though we are trying to save all the pieces of the set, it is still coming down much faster than we put it up, go figure. We hope to have it all down today, we are down mostly to the big sections that don't come apart.

When I am working on a project like this I always feel like I belong to something. Maybe that is why I love helping people, because it provides that self-assuring sense to me that I am not a waste of space. Either way it feels good to belong to something. I had a similar sense while working at UPS. The work there was very demanding, emotionally and physically, but I felt like I belonged to something larger than myself.

It is just part of who I am, how God made me, that I love to invest myself in others. I know that is one reason that I would love to be in a relationship again, because I would have the privilege of giving so much emotional support and attention to somebody I care about or love. I enjoy the act of thinking up and doing creative things that will make someone happy.

The danger is obvious though, it is a trap that I might change who I am and how I behave to make someone else happy. This is a fine line that I fear I am going to need help with. If ever I do become involved with someone again, even if they are awesome and won't manipulate me into changing to suit their desires, I will need accountability to prevent me from falling into the trap. It is going to be quite the woman who can help and prevent me from going down that road. That is a key requirement in the character of the person I will marry, for it can make or break me.