Perfectionist Issues

What is it about being a perfectionist at your core? You want everything done correctly. The problem is, who gets to choose what is correct and what is not? If this small decision is messed up in your mind then you are in for a surprise when it all comes crashing down. I have found that there are many areas of my life that if I can't do them perfectly or at least really good I lose all desire to do them.

The other thing... When people feel like they need to correct me for my prideful assuming ways... Why do they feel like they have to go on and on explaining how I was wrong? I know they are attempting to keep things on an even keel, but don't you think that being pulled into a storage room alone with two supervisors is enough to tell me I am about to get in trouble for something? They always say, "I am just going to come out and be blunt etc." Yet they never are, instead of "you are stepping on toes, its not your job to do "X,Y,Z" I get "Well i understand why you want to do this blah blah blah." When I realized what they were saying I wanted to just scream "STOP I understand, problem solved." Its hard enough to be a perfectionist and be told you are wrong, its worse when the telling is not brief. Let me please go so I can just fix it.

Now it feels awkward and I want to pendulum swing the other way with my behavior and ways. Jobs are never easy, but for someone who really cares about how good of an employee I am and how good the company is, it can be challenging. Geez drinking a Mikes fast makes my head swim. I need a vacation.

Crappy days

I hate days like this where I get depressed and tired. This is the first day off I have had in a week and I am exhausted and allergy ridden. For whatever reason I am emotionally spent, all I want to do is hide in a dark room with comfort music away from all human contact. Why no people when that is probably what I need? Because there are no people here that know me or understand me. Earlier I honestly considered moving to Alaska and starting over, only to remember that troubles follow you like a bad fungus. I think it would have been more tolerable if we didn't have choir rehearsal tonight. Now I am around a bunch of people having to put my best face on and not complain about anything because that would be immature and childish. My allergies are making it quite hard to sing and I have little or no energy for human relations. All this knowing I don't get a break for the next two or three weeks from people or work. I want to go home early but came with my parents and would have to answer questions about why I didn't stay blahblah. Sorry to complain to the internet, but this feels like my only outlet for the angst in my soul at the moment.

Back Pain

I am a victim of chronic back discomfort. I almost hate to call it pain, as that just makes me feel worse.
When I was at UPS the chiropractor was my very good friend. Now that I am no longer a teamster, my insurance coverage no longer covers my back's best friend. (she was cute too!)
I am considering it again though, just going to the guy recommended to me here to see what I can afford. I say this because this is the third or forth time in a few months that my back is out. This last time being the worst, and with little or no provocation.

I am learning what I can and can not do, sitting on my old recliner is no among them. As my back was healed and strong until i watched a few CSI's on my old couch. The good news is that my Dad loves the couch, I have given it to him!