What is Love?

How can we understand love? I was married to a gal that I loved, but how about now? The Bible tells us that true love never fails (1 Corinthians 13) but obviously my love for my ex-wife is failed. How are we to understand this? What do I know? I know that until the very end of my marriage I loved my wife, that love being a die-hard commitment to seeing the marriage and our lives together last.

Then why I was in love with someone who treated me like trash, manipulated and abused everyone who was around her? I think partially because this part of her did not come out fully until we had been married for a little while. The other reason is that I firmly believe the strength needed to love someone comes from God. My love for God and his love and support of me was the only reason I was able to hold on until the end of my hellish marriage to her.

Love is and can be a dangerous thing. I say this because love is blind. It will probably take some good counseling to get through all of what I went through with her, but when I was there in it, I was blind to the torture I was in. The boiling frog example I think works. It slowly got worse and worse, and not until I was away from the marriage and friends talked to me about how bad they saw it did I come to realize the extent of the damage done.

Knowing now how blinded I can be by love, I must admit that I am scared to love again. I am afraid that I will end up in situation exactly like the one I was in. Yet there inside me is a potent unyielding desire to have the relationship I am now so desperately missing. Inside me I feel and yearn for the female companionship I lack, but also I have this mighty apprehension to anything to do with relationships for fear of making a life changing error. I guess I am a statistic now, burned and afraid of being hurt again.

Well enough for the present, now to finish making dinner.