New Thoughts

I have a hard time thinking well of myself. I tend to always think of myself with a low self confidence. I see myself for who I am, and tend to focus on what people think of me, or things I think they think of me (or would think). The age old cliche goes into effect, "You are your own worse critic."

I have been trying to break out of that mold lately. I know certain things about myself that need work, of course, but I also have been collecting things about myself that are not so negative. Normally one would assign such thinking, focusing on the good of yourself, as narcissistic but that really is not the case with me. In order to have confidence in myself, it is important to know that I am not a worthless person.

I have a problem with patience and being grumpy when I am tired or worn down. I worry to much about what people think of me, and then want to change to be what people like. I do not have a lot of self-discipline so it is hard for me to exercise, read, study, etc. in an orderly fashion.

However, I do have a great relationship with God, tend to be self-less, humble, very generous and giving. My personality (DIsC) is S-I, so I am very sociable, get along very well with people in all sorts of situations. I am extroverted and do very well under other people's leadership, however if the need arises I can take charge of a situation and lead myself. I tend to be very romantic in my thinking and treat women with great respect. I am also an accomplished singer/ musician (At lease I am told that often).

I am learning to focus on the things I can do for God, instead of what is so dreaded wrong with me. I know that I am nothing better than a sinner saved by God's grace, and often find myself quoting Paul saying, "Oh wretched man that I am, who will free me from this body of death!" However if I focus on this to much my personality tends to make me to shy to tackle life.

The new goal that I would like to pursue is to live with self-confidence and courage, knowing that if I make a mistake that's ok. But also to keep my life in perspective knowing that I am a sinner, and the only reason I have a chance at life at all is because of Jesus Christ who died for me, and daily supports me. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, the opposite is also true. I can do nothing with out Him.