Emotions

There are times when I get a feeling of "X" that is so overwhelming it is almost debilitating. I have found in those times that the best, and or only, solution is to just keep going. This could mean continue driving, working, reading, singing, etc.
One could almost describe it like a wave that washes over you, just wait a minute and it will pass. I have a good friend who does not live by these rules, he does not experience emotion the same way I do. I almost envy him, as my life when in working order is a roller coaster of emotional waves.

When I was growing up I remember being told constantly by mentors not to make decisions based upon my emotions. I would then think what are you talking about, this IS me thinking and making decisions based on whatever I thought was right at the time. As I have aged I have learned to read myself better knowing that what is right has a base in wisdom, logic, and truth, God's truth. Now I see the same emotions striking and moving me, but no longer must I follow their path. This is very good for me as the path of emotions is not the straight and narrow I need to be following.

So I begin and end my days beseeching God for strength and help, to weather another day alone with my thoughts and emotions. This is my lot in life, I will change as I grow, but the nature of my brain will not. The only thing that changes really is how much I can notice the waves and with the strength of Christ ride them.

Movie thoughts

I just watched one of my favorite movies again, August Rush. Many of my friends and family have also seen this movie and haven't really liked it. Some said there was no plot, or critiqued the story that was there. For them I am sorry, for the movie goes deeper than the surface storyline.

The director is showing the power of music and how it can touch and move people. I have experienced this first hand, even had a close friend who heard music wherever he went. The Lord has gifted some this way, and others don't always understand. I don't hear original symphonies in my head, but my life is moved and sometimes changed by music.

Watching this movie again after a long hiatus (of watching it), has really allowed me to see what the director was trying to convey. August Rush, Freddie Highmore, is shown to experience life in every detail through music. The entire score of the movie is what he is hearing, and how he processes life. This affects him to the degree that he goes on a long journey to find his parents hoping they (by nature of being his parents) can hear the same music he hears. Then if he can play this music and they hear it then he will be found. Simple concept, simple theme, but awesome execution.

What comes out of this for me, is the simple fact that music can so powerfully affect people. This most likely resonates for me, as I live and breathe my life through music. I will hear a song that moves me and play it over and over again releasing emotion and inner energy through that said music. I have spent hundreds on iTunes for this reason.

I live in the moment so one song can completely change my entire tone of being. I have watched myself go from sad to happy, happy to sad, normal to tense, aggressive to submissive, etc. so many times based on what music I am listening to. This is so powerful with me that I must be careful I don't listen to sad music when I am sad, or I get emotionally depressed and distraught.

Not everyone will understand, appreciate, or even like this movie or others like it. However, for me, this movie is a brief glimpse into how music can touch my soul.

Yes I know, I am an S.