Emptiness

How do you fill the emptiness created when you are home alone? I find myself alone with three dogs for almost two days and its hard to deal with. I have been so used to being with and around people my entire life. For a short time I was living by myself with no one coming come but me. For a year I dealt with this lonesomeness through my work. I had my social cup filled at my three different jobs, not the least of which was the Y. At the Y, I was around friends, people who cared and talked to me.

Now I find myself alone, with no job as my social outlet. I am so thankful to God that I don't have to be alone for more than 2 days, and that He provided me with a job that I will start soon. There is even the possibility that I might get a full-time pay and benefits job out of this new life guarding position.

I think I have found the reason that I like to work. It is more than just making a living, it is filling the desperate need I have to be around people. I have friends and family that can go without this social experience, but I can't. I don't think this makes me weak, but rather it's just the way that God made me.

I have been learning to take a lot of things on Faith with God. This is just one of those things that I have to trust to Him, my social life. The thing that is most tempting is to get a girlfriend that will fill my social void. However, that solution is the quick and easy way to solve a deeper issue. Thus I am seeking to place myself in situations where this social void does not overwhelm me. I am somewhat joining the worship team at Church, and thus have practices weekly. I am in the choir at church and get to be around them Wednesdays. (we are taking a break currently from most activities at church) I am on the men's softball team, we start playing in the fall. I am taking a class to learn how to Lindy Hop, also starts in the fall.

In fact I just realized that I will be much more able to deal with this emptiness when things pick up again in the Fall. There is just one more reason I rather hate summer and infatuated with autumn. Until then, I get to hang out with three fuzzy dogs, and watch movies while I clean the house in anticipation of family returning tomorrow night.